siggy
10th July 2002, 18:00
A man says to his wife on their wedding night,"Are you sure I'm
the first man you've slept with."
She replies, "Of course honey. I managed to stay awake with all
the others."
__________________________________________________
_
The Ladies at Lunch
Mary: So I told my ex, "You just don't arouse me!"
Jill: Well, that's pretty forthright! What did he say?
Mary: He said, "Well, maybe you have a dry well!"
Jill: OOH!
Mary: It was all right. I told him, "Maybe you need a
new drill!"
_________________________________________________
They say marriage is a contract. No, it's not.
Contracts come with warrantees. When something goes
wrong, you can take it back to the manufacturer.
If your husband starts acting up, you can't take him
back to his mama's house. "I don't know; he just
stopped working. He's just laying around making a
funny noise."
_________________________________________________
Women can sleep with whoever they want;
men have to sleep with whoever will let them
_________________________________________________
A man read, in the want ads, of a Ferrari for sale. It
had only 3,000 miles. "Like new," the ad boasted. "Mint
condition. $75.00."
He laughed to himself, and he said, "There goes the
newspaper, making another mistake." But he decided to
call the number anyway and he asked the woman who
answered about the sports car.
"Is it really brand new?"
"Yes," she replied.
"Three thousand miles?"
"Yes."
"The price?"
"Seventy-five dollars," she answered.
"Lady, what's wrong with it?" he asked.
"Nothing is wrong with it. You're the first to call. I
supposed nobody else believes the ad."
He decided to look at it. She let him take a test drive.
The car looked exquisite and ran perfectly. He just
couldn't believe his luck!
"The car is yours for $75.00," the woman said
emphatically, "on one condition. I want the money now
and I want you to drive it away so I never have to see
it again."
He paid her and took the keys. "Please tell me, lady,"
he persisted. "You could have sold this car for fifty
thousand dollars. What is going on?"
She told her story: "I bought this car for my husband on
our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Two weeks later he
ran off with somebody else. Last week I got a card from
him. They are in a resort in Miami Beach, Florida. The
card said, 'Need money, sell car, send cash.'"
the first man you've slept with."
She replies, "Of course honey. I managed to stay awake with all
the others."
__________________________________________________
_
The Ladies at Lunch
Mary: So I told my ex, "You just don't arouse me!"
Jill: Well, that's pretty forthright! What did he say?
Mary: He said, "Well, maybe you have a dry well!"
Jill: OOH!
Mary: It was all right. I told him, "Maybe you need a
new drill!"
_________________________________________________
They say marriage is a contract. No, it's not.
Contracts come with warrantees. When something goes
wrong, you can take it back to the manufacturer.
If your husband starts acting up, you can't take him
back to his mama's house. "I don't know; he just
stopped working. He's just laying around making a
funny noise."
_________________________________________________
Women can sleep with whoever they want;
men have to sleep with whoever will let them
_________________________________________________
A man read, in the want ads, of a Ferrari for sale. It
had only 3,000 miles. "Like new," the ad boasted. "Mint
condition. $75.00."
He laughed to himself, and he said, "There goes the
newspaper, making another mistake." But he decided to
call the number anyway and he asked the woman who
answered about the sports car.
"Is it really brand new?"
"Yes," she replied.
"Three thousand miles?"
"Yes."
"The price?"
"Seventy-five dollars," she answered.
"Lady, what's wrong with it?" he asked.
"Nothing is wrong with it. You're the first to call. I
supposed nobody else believes the ad."
He decided to look at it. She let him take a test drive.
The car looked exquisite and ran perfectly. He just
couldn't believe his luck!
"The car is yours for $75.00," the woman said
emphatically, "on one condition. I want the money now
and I want you to drive it away so I never have to see
it again."
He paid her and took the keys. "Please tell me, lady,"
he persisted. "You could have sold this car for fifty
thousand dollars. What is going on?"
She told her story: "I bought this car for my husband on
our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Two weeks later he
ran off with somebody else. Last week I got a card from
him. They are in a resort in Miami Beach, Florida. The
card said, 'Need money, sell car, send cash.'"